Unlike many other conspiracy theories, the doctrine of the Berensteins seems to be gaining traction due to the fact that readers can take a side. But it exploded last week when Run the Jewels rapper/music producer, and possible Berensteinite, El-P, went on, I assume of course, a weed-powered tweeting spree about it. The Berenst(E)ain Bear theory has been around for a few years. I never thought it would be the Berenst(a)ein Bears. I always figured something would eventually break me mentally and emotionally. Learning that I have been wrong all these years has caused what can only be described as a personal crisis of sorts. I constantly need to go back and change all of the Berensteins to Berenstains because my mind is so set in its way. Even during the writing of this piece, the misspelled name is right there on the tip of my tongue. I personally remember, vividly, the Berenstain Bears being spelt with an E and calling it that for years.
To be completely honest, I am one with the believers of the E. "I only realized that 'A' reading to my kid about eight months ago," one of my friends said. I talked to quite a few people I know, and most of them remember the bears surname being spelled with an E. I've dubbed these individuals Berensteinites. In fact, there are so many Berenstein believers that people in the know will cite that as proof that this is a glitch in the matrix. Does something look wrong to you? Do you remember it being Berenstein with an E, not Berenstain with an A? Take a cold hard look at the wording above. The Bears are communicating these newfound realities to us through their name. You could say that they are our Ursidae Neo. And they have one final major lesson in store for us: We all live in an alternate reality and nothing we know is real. The treehouse-living Bears love us so much that they're still teaching us-technically grownups-important lessons today.
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